Selective Reduction...

Well, I made it through another holiday (without ANY tears none the less). Me and Jeremy have done a lot of discussing lately and it STILL blows my mind how much you think you really know about someone until you go through this! We got on the topic of selective reduction (because he still wants to put 3 back, and I am leaning towards only 2) and what our beliefs are on the topic. He asked at what point would I consider it, and at what stage in the pregnancy??? Wow, kinda caught off guard on some of his thoughts, but I respect his thoughts and respect him for asking so I think about it for a bit...I told him there would be a lot of variables that would determine what my choice would be. If I had more than 3 I would definitely consider it, not only for the babies, but for my own health. He then said....you know that is an abortion....right? And, that in our religion you would go to Hell for that....right? Well, ya I understand that it is an abortion, I understand that it is against our religion, but I also understand that God is forgiving....that he knows what it is like to be in our situation.....what we would be going through....and that it would be better to have 2-3 healthy live babies, then lose them and possibly myself? He understood my logical thinking with that and agreed....only to be followed by "how would you chose who got to live?"....well, I think that with the Dr.'s advice and my gut feeling we would keep the healthiest ones...the ones who continue to have great heartbeats and good growth. "At what age would you reduce?"....well, I would have to say around/before the 9 week mark.....I couldn't imagine KNOWING I was going to reduce and still let it live and thrive? It was just a very deep, gut wrenching, heart twisting conversation....I mean all of this is very real. I understand we aren't in this situation NOW, but I would much rather know where we each stand on this before we are there and it puts a strain on the relationship. Anyway, with that being said....he STILL wants to put 3 back, he says that if the chances of actually having triplets is less than 15% then he definitely wants to go that route. I kept bugging him as to why so many......he FINALLY admitted he wants twins! YIKES! I mean don't get me wrong, I would be thrilled with whatever we were blessed with, but for him to actually say that is what he was going for well, it just really threw me back!!! So looks like we are going for twins, I am not sure how my RE will feel about this, but I know they are much more aggressive than most places....so I am thinking she will let us do whatever (within medical reasoning) we wanted.

I start my shots in 2 weeks....WOW this is coming fast!