Day 5 Transfer

It's done. What's done is done. No turning back. We had our day 5 transfer yesterday, scheduled at 1, but was running behind so didn't happen until about 2:30.  That was honestly one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, and pretty sure I wouldn't make the same decision if asked again. We had 2 embryos that were slightly behind and 1 that was more behind than the other 2. After much deliberation and discussion we put the best 2 back and are waiting to see how the 3rd does today. If by some miracle it's doing better they will freeze it, if it's not them down the toilet it goes.

I knew we would be in this situation again, this is exactly where we were with Tootsie. I told myself over and over again that I would rather have all 3 put back so that last little guy could die in warmth with its siblings than alone in the lab. I knew that's what I wanted. However, things change. Sometimes what you think is right may not be what others think is more right. When the physician day the only way she would feel comfortable putting 3 back is if by the small chance we conceived 5 babies we would be willing to do selective reduction, something makes you really sit back and question your values and morals. Who are we to decide, and who are we to put ourselves in that situation in the first place. I love my husband and I love my physician. So putting my own selfish feelings aside we went with 2.  I still have a heavy heart leaving the last guy in the tube, and I know it's irrational that if it was going to live or die it shouldn't matter where it is. But, it does. That's my blood, sweat, tears, and DNA.

I will get a phone call today on if it survived and then maybe I can move on.

I have such amazing family and friends, I have said but before but really can't thank them enough. My phone was blowing up with texts, messages, snapchats, and well wishes yesterday my husband was actually almost annoyed. It made my day.

Blood pregnancy test on April 29th. (10 days). Happy vibes. Now to sit on my back patio with my wonderful mother and enjoy springs beauty.

Our 3 little blastocysts

During the transfer, the brighter white line in the top right corner is the catheter and where they placed the 2 embryos. Amazing.