Round 3. *Rage*

What a fucking week it's been. Shit. Damn. Hell. All of the above. It never ceases to amaze me how I can go from the highest high to the lowest low in a matter of days. There has been a shit ton on my mind lately, and while I feel pain and have sorrow for others, I still am self concerned this week. I recently found out one of my best friends has breast cancer. She found out 3 weeks before her 35th birthday. She has a 2 and 6 year old. The sweet little 6 year old has juvenile arthritis, which has progressively gotten worse over the past year. I can't imagine the pain financially, emotionally, and physically she must be experiencing. Life just isn't fail, is it?

It seems like the more people I talk to about IVF the more people experience it or know someone who has. How the hell is the world getting repopulated other than the Duggars?!?! Seriously, I want to know.

We saved 20% on this upcoming cycle which was almost $1,000. However, we decided to try and get better egg quality this round. So I have been on the horrid Lupron Depot shot for 3 months. I ordered my medications for the upcoming cycle and had sticker shock. $8,643! What the?!?!?! No way this can be right. So I searched and found that actually, yes, this was correct. The one medication (Gonal F) was over $6k alone. After MUCH research I found a pharmacy that we were able to get this one med for around $3k, the other medications were around $2,000. So meds for our final cycle are around $5,000! The cycle itself...$8,900. Anesthesia $350. So basically looking at over $15,000 for this round. Add that to last round and we have just paid off my new car. But then again, who am I to complain. We aren't "loaded" by any means, but have been blessed to have a husband strong enough to provide extra income when needed. Even if it comes at a high physical price.

If I had wrote this a week ago it would have been sugar and cream. I felt great about this cycle! I don't know if it's the finality of it all, or the realization that life isn't cream and sugar. But a low is a low, but fuck it. I don't have the time or patience to write my emotional reserves from my phone. So tomorrows a new day, let's see what it brings.