Cookie Dough and Treadmills

I know a total oxymoron, but well it is the truth. I survived the night, I did leave work a little (ok a lot early) and went home and just worked my guts out! I ran about a mile (I usually just walk) then did push ups, sit ups, lunges, squats, just about everything! THEN I made Jeremy some cookies, but not until I had ate about 1/2 of the dough. I know totally pathetic, but it was sooooo good and comforting! After about a 2 hour crying session I finally asked myself what the hell is wrong with me? Why am I being so selfish about this? I am happy for my sister and brother in law, why am I so upset? All I could think of is pure selfishness, and well that isn't very nice. I am just fine without a kid at this point in my life. I mean, I LOVE just hanging out with Jeremy. Leaving whenever we want, going to Home Depot on Sat. getting our morning cup of coffee together, helping Jeremy with his side jobs/work. I am thinking we aren't going to be able to fit a car seat in his work truck so well, but maybe? That is one thing my kids will learn at an early age.....work! Doesn't matter if you are a girl or boy, physical work never killed anyone, it only made them stronger. Anyway, I thought I would just post a little and let everyone know I really am fine, just floods of emotions this week.