Getting Nervous/Excited/Scared

I am sure I will be having a lot more of these thoughts, but I just got a call from the RE reminding me of my consult tomorrow morning at 9 am. I think I am mostly excited just because this will set a little more reality into things. Like we are planning on doing it in Jan., but what if she isn't up there that month, or something like that so we have to change it??? Not that it is a huge deal...I will just be able to give myself a little reassurance on things. I would really like for Jeremy to have another SA done before then just so we know how things have changed (or if they have) but I guess why spend another $125 when ICSI will take all the guess out of it anyway???

I am trying to take some advice that I actually liked. (Yes, I am selective and not always rational) Things at this point are out of my hands, there is nothing I can do except listen to the doctors and trust God. There ARE things I can do that may make it easier, but as for the ultimate decision that isn't mine. I am at the mercy of a greater being, which is really humbling at this point in my life. I have learned to be self sufficient, and that if something isn't working....work harder and fix it. Well, this is kinda the same in a way that yes, I may be fertility challenged and yes I can work harder to earn the $ to get the best help possible but in the end the very end it isn't my decision if I will have a child of blood or a child of love. So this my loved ones is where I try and just let it be. (Kinda a peaceful feeling coming over me)

Any how, I think I am going to have to work extra hard at the gym tomorrow to get rid of some of this excitement and anticipation!